THE TOXIC GLORIFICATION OF "STRUGGLE LOVE" AND "UPGRADING A MAN" FOR BLACK WOMEN

 

INTRODUCTION.

In a society that continues to pressure black women to settle down with men who cannot provide for them or match them financially, it is no wonder that "holding a man down" or upgrading him backfires most of the time. According to academic research studies about divorce, the chances of divorce increase significantly when a woman is a breadwinner. Wendy Williams, Tia Mowry, Mary J Blige, and Halle Berry are a few examples of successful women whose less successful partners have divorced.

THE PRESSURE TO SETTLE DOWN

In recent years, there has been increased pressure on black women to settle down and have children with men who can provide for them financially. This pressure often comes from family members, friends, and even strangers who believe black women should be in a relationship with a man who can care for them. While there are some benefits to a relationship with a man who can provide financial stability, there are also many downsides.

One of the most significant downsides is that when a woman is a breadwinner in a relationship, she is more likely to experience divorce. This is because men often feel emasculated when they are not the primary breadwinner in the relationship. This can lead to tension and conflict within the relationship, eventually divorce.

Another downside of a relationship with a man who cannot provide for you financially is that you may have to support him financially. This can be highly frustrating and can cause resentment to build over time. Additionally, if you end up getting divorced, you may have to pay alimony to your ex-husband if he cannot financially support himself.

Examples of celebrities who have experienced these challenges in their relationships include Wendy Williams and her husband Kelvin, Tia Mowry and her husband Cory Hardrict, Mary J Blige and her ex-husband Kendu Isaacs, and Halle Berry and her ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry.

THE PRESSURE TO PROCREATE

Black women in the United States are under immense pressure to procreate with men who can provide for them financially. This pressure is mainly because black women are disproportionately likely to be single mothers. In 2012, 47% of black women were single mothers, compared to 26% of Hispanic women and 24% white women. This pressure to find a man who can provide financially often leads black women to settle for less-than-ideal partners.

One study found that 70% of black women reported feeling pressure from their families or friends to settle down with a man who could provide for them financially. This pressure can often lead to black women making poor choices in partners, as they may feel forced to choose a man who is not necessarily a good match for them.

This pressure to find a man who can provide financially often backfires on black women. Studies have shown that when a woman is a primary breadwinner in a relationship, the relationship is more likely to end in divorce. One study found that couples in which the woman was the primary breadwinner were 1.5 times more likely to divorce than couples in which the man was the primary breadwinner.

Examples of this phenomenon can be seen in high-profile divorces such as those of Wendy Williams and Kelvin Hunter, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Mary J Blige and Kendu Isaacs, and Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry. In each of these cases, the woman

THE PRESSURE TO UPGRADE

As a black woman, you are constantly bombarded with messages that settling down and having a family is one of the most important things you can do. And while there is nothing wrong with wanting those things, the pressure to find a man who can provide for you financially can be immense.

This pressure is compounded by the fact that Black women are more likely to be single than any other group of women in America. According to the Pew Research Center, as of 2013, 72 percent of Black women were unmarried. This statistic is especially troubling when you consider that Black women are also more likely to have children outside of marriage than any other women.

The pressure to find a man who can provide financially can often lead Black women to settle for less than they deserve. In many cases, these relationships end in heartbreak and disappointment.

Wendy Williams is a prime example of this. After years of being married to an abusive man who couldn't provide for her financially, she finally left him and found success on her own.

Tia Mowry experienced firsthand the dangers of settling for less than she deserved. After years of dating a man who was unemployed and couldn't support her financially, she finally ended the relationship and found happiness with her current husband, actor Cory Hardrict.

Mary J. Blige went through a similar experience with her ex-husband, Kendu Isaacs. After years of being together, he was unable to match her

THE PRESSURE TO HOLD A MAN DOWN

In a world where the pressure to succeed is high, black women often feel the added stress of " holding a man down." This term usually describes a woman's financial responsibility for her man, whether by supporting him financially or helping him to upgrade his lifestyle. However, this pressure can often backfire, leaving black women feeling trapped and unhappy in their relationships.

According to research, black women are likelier than any other woman to be the household's primary breadwinners. Yet, they are more likely to experience divorce when they out-earn their husbands. One study found that when a wife earns 60% or more of the household income, the likelihood of divorce increases by 40%.

There are many possible explanations for this phenomenon. One is that black men may feel threatened by successful black women and lash out in response. Another is that black women may be more likely to marry un financially stable men and thus face tremendous financial strain in their marriages. Whatever the cause, the effect is apparent: Black women who "hold their man down" financially are more likely to experience relationship problems.

Examples of this phenomenon can be seen in celebrity divorces such as Wendy Williams and Kelvins Peña, Tia Mowry and Cory Hardrict, Mary J Blige and Kendu Isaacs, and Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry. In each case, the woman was

CONCLUSION

Black women are heavily pressured to settle down with men who cannot provide for them financially. This pressure comes from many sources, including family, friends, and society. Unfortunately, this pressure often leads to divorce when the woman is the breadwinner. This is because the man feels emasculated and unable to provide for his family. As a result, he may resort to violence or infidelity. Thus, it is crucial for black women to carefully consider their options before settling down with a man.

Contributed by Debby Star